I recently reconnected with my maternal grandmother, who passed away nearly 36 years ago. The medium was a letter she wrote to me when I was a teenager.  I don’t believe that any encounter happens by coincidence; I am certain the message was preserved for a time when I’d fully appreciate her words.

Referring to a letter I had written to her, she complimented my writing style, adding that my ability to communicate well would serve me later in life.  Coming from the one who passed along the “writing gene,” the sentiments from long ago especially touch my heart. I can’t help but wonder about the journalism career the mother of eight might have chosen if she had lived in a different era with fewer responsibilities at home.  Instead, she kept in touch with loved ones through handwritten letters that offered her opinions and advice, and spread the latest news.  Today, I understand, too, that her corresponding was not only a means of staying connected; writing was also her creative release.

My grandmother wrote her letter to me in pen without any cross outs, and she was ninety years old! When I write a note in pen with the intention to make my words meaningful, I type a rough draft first for a guide to avoid mistakes on the stationery. I seriously doubt my grandmother wrote a rough draft of her letter to me. Nevertheless, she belonged to a generation that took time to consider what they wanted to say before making their words permanent. Thinking before acting meant being focused on the writing process and reviewing their correspondences carefully before posting them the old-fashioned way—i.e. handing them over to a mail carrier or dropping them in a mailbox. They took time to get their words right.

Ironically, now that technology allows us to compose and communicate a multitude of messages to the masses in no time, those who care to contemplate what they will say and then critique their words to ensure they have written something worth remembering—much less worth reading once—are rare. Considering how little the majority of us say in light of how much we post, no one should be surprised
if future generations view our communications as a huge waste of time.

Will our progeny treasure and keep our messages safe, or will they send our words to their virtual wastebaskets?

What do you say?

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

In light of all that you face ahead, does it really matter if you get down to business today, tomorrow or next week? Quite frankly, here’s the key question and only you have the answer:

Just how important is that goal?

My mom had a saying:  If you’re considering whether or not to pursue a goal that will take one, two, or a few years to reach, then you can either think about the time and effort you’ll have to commit, or you can commit to accomplishing the work. Whatever you do with your time, rest assured that one, two and a few years from today will eventually arrive.

This could be the day you take your writing project off the shelf. In fact, over the next six days, you can take six fundamental steps that send you well on your way to crossing the finish line.

Start today. Gather steam and launch your writing journey towards a successful conclusion by taking the following six steps over the next six days:

Day 1 - Articulate your objectives in writing with a goal date for publication.  What do you hope to accomplish and by when? Retrieving your ideas from the back of your head—bringing them to light—can be the most powerful fuel for propelling your project.

Day 2 - Determine your target audience. Whom do you aim to reach? Clarifying the scope and context of your audience is essential for framing the substance and direction of your message.

Day 3 - Outline your presentation. What points do you aim to cover? Although an outline is a working document that can (and often should) be revised, its basic structure provides direction, like a roadmap, to keep you on course.

Day 4 - List which materials you have on hand (or in your head) and what you need to collect.  How will you gather and compile information? Whether by dictating and/or typing notes, retrieving and/or organizing files, researching and/or interviewing, determine how you will fill in the blanks.   

Day 5 - Establish a timeline for obtaining any missing information. Is your goal date feasible in light of any research you need to conduct?  Make reasonable estimates for compiling material and composing without pushing out your goal date so far that it becomes a distant dream rather than a tangible objective.                                       

Day 6 - Determine which vehicle will best communicate your message. Will it be a book, article, website, blog, video, etc.?  Selecting the primary instrument that will convey your messages provides a solid framework for your presentation and a distinct vision for your project.

If you’re an overachiever or if you have already made some headway in the past, you could accomplish several of the tasks—possibly even all six—in one day. All the same, if you don’t pace yourself, staying on a steady course, you could suffer burnout. Also keep in mind that each step is important, so invest the necessary time to evaluate the implications of your decision and then commit to them. 

Whatever you have on your mind to write and publish, realize that all projects, no matter their scope, require thought and action.

All in all, if you aim to reach that goal, can you think of a better day to get started?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

Consider four ways to build your influence when you state this, not that:   

1.       State what you do, not what you believe.

Weak: We believe in delivering topnotch customer service.

Strong: Our 24-hour customer support demonstrates our commitment to service.

2.       State your effort, not your attempt.

Weak: We make every attempt to ensure your child’s safety.

Strong: We certify our staff in CPR and First Aid to ensure your child’s safety.

3.       State what you have experienced, not your expertise.

Weak: As real estate experts, we understand what it takes to sell your home.

Strong: Having sold hundreds of residential properties that range in price from $150,000 to $1,500,000, we will guide you through our “Seller’s Checklist for Success” and market your home to sell.

4.       State what you require, not what you don’t allow.

Weak: Talking is not allowed during the testing period.

Strong: Silence is required during the testing period.

No matter who your audience happens to be, you can gain more influence with a stronger message.

What could you say in a more powerful way?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

info@writelady.com

Just as substituting carrots for potato chips will improve your shape, you can also hone your writing skills by finding alternatives to words that don’t have much substance.  My personal list of “junk words” would fill a page, so I decided to share four in a format that’s easy to recall:

Because It’s Very Nice

Because implies a condition. Eliminating the word challenges the writer to build a more powerful statement.

With Because: We use organic ingredients in our products because they are healthier.  

Better Without: We use organic ingredients in our products for optimal health advantages.

With Because: We offer free shipping on all returns because we want you to have peace of mind with every purchase.

Better Without: To deliver peace of mind with every purchase, we offer free shipping.

It replaces a world of words. Restructuring the sentence to eliminate the indefinite pronoun or substituting the pronoun for a noun creates a more solidly anchored statement.

With It: When I have a private matter, I don’t care to discuss it in a business setting.

Better Without: I don’t care to discuss a private matter in a business setting.

With It: It caused us to miss the deadline.

Better Without: The inaccurate timeline caused us to miss the deadline.

Very indicates an extreme condition. Eliminating the overused adverb all together or choosing a more original alternative makes a more expressive pronouncement.

With Very: The research is very thorough.

Better Without: The research is thorough.

With Very: The latest trends are very disappointing.

Better Without: The latest trends are terribly disappointing.

Nice has endless implications. A more specific adjective clarifies the writer’s intention.

With Nice: You made a nice presentation.

Better Without: You made an enlightening presentation.

With Nice: The CEO made a nice donation to the cause.

Better without: The CEO made a generous donation to the cause.

If you come across exceptions and up choosing because, it, very or nice instead of rephrasing your sentence, then at least you took time to consider whether or not your words have substance.

What do you say?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

Do you go overboard?

Instead of emphasizing important matters with carefully chosen words, today’s writers commonly use excessive, incorrect punctuation.  Instead of crafting straightforward statements that are worth recalling, misguided communicators clutter their pages and distract their readers with errors. As a result, both the message and the messenger lose value.

To make your point as a professional, consider how the following two guidelines can strengthen your written communications:

1.       Exclamation Points & Question Marks

The purpose of an exclamation point is to make an emphatic statement. A question mark indicates a desire or need for an answer. Consider the response you want to elicit and then choose one punctuation mark to accomplish your objective.

INCORRECT: What is the deadline???

        What is the deadline!!!

        What is the deadline?!?

        The multiple punctuation marks convey that someone is having a temper tantrum.

CORRECT: What is the deadline?

                     The question prompts the reader to answer.

                     The deadline is missing!

                     The statement draws attention to the missing element.                 

A clear question or emphatic statement punctuated properly not only stands on its own, but it also conveys professionalism.

2.       Ellipses

An ellipsis, written as three dots, indicates that content has been omitted, as when the writer quotes a portion of spoken or written material from an original source. In informal communications, the punctuation also prompts the reader to pause with the author and ponder what might come next. For our discussion about adding emphasis, we’ll focus on the pause.

INCORRECT: I’ve considered your proposal…..my concerns regarding deadlines still exist…..

More dots do not accentuate the pause; they simply show that the writer has strayed from the correct rules of punctuation.

ACCEPTIBLE: I’ve considered your proposal … my concerns regarding deadlines still exist ….

Note that one space separates the ellipsis from the content that precedes and follows the punctuation.   

END OF SENTENCE:  Add a fourth dot for your period when the ellipsis appears at the end of a sentence.

HINT: To ensure that you type it correctly, locate the ellipsis in your menu of symbols and insert it.

BETTER: I’ve considered your proposal; my concerns regarding deadlines still exist ….

                Two ellipses in one sentence seem overdone, so stick with one.

IDEAL: I’ve considered your proposal; my concerns regarding deadlines still exist. They are as follows:

More often than not, completing the thought does the job more effectively than making the reader hang on your words.

If you choose to use ellipses in your writing, use them correctly and sparingly.

Punctuation tools, when used properly, sharpen your written communications. When used improperly, they make a mess of your messages.

What are your punctuation peeves or questions?

My best,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

info@writelady.com

Whether we incorporate longtime traditions or create a new generation of customs, a series of events—taking advice from too many cooks in the kitchen, exchanging memories, deciding to have a slice of both kinds of pie for dessert, and welcoming someone to the table who would otherwise have nowhere to go—can reflect the joy and appreciation we feel far better than words could convey.  

Whether the holidays create the best memories or remind us of the best times we’ve had during the year, they often inspire us to express love and gratitude towards those who mean the most to us.

We could certainly argue that words can be superfluous. Children, banished to the kids’ table, know for a fact that their parents love them unconditionally.  Dear friends, already planning their next gathering, know that they, unlike family, are bonded by choice.  For those reasons, when it comes to offering tributes and thanks to loved ones, many of us assume that such sentiments do not require a spoken language; instead of saying what we feel, we believe that being in the moment is the important factor.  

That might be so, but despite the old adage, “actions speak louder than words,” many of us live to regret what we never say.

With the passing of time (and loved ones), I have grown more compelled to speak up rather than wait for the perfect phrases or ideal opportunities to materialize. Regardless of my convictions and my usual capacity to find the right words, however, I still struggle to make my tributes meaningful.  I absolutely relate to the challenges others face when expressing how they feel. I certainly understand why many procrastinate until it’s too late.

If you’re grappling for the right words to say to someone deserving of your gratitude, consider the following five pointers that have always helped me write or say thank you:

·         Communicate from the heart. Sincerity speaks volumes.

·         Speak simply. Grandiose language is not only unnecessary, but the beauty of your sentiments can also get lost in extravagant phrases and over-the-top gestures.

·         Relate praises to personal experiences.  Beyond stating that someone is wonderful, specify examples of why the individual has added meaning to you your life.

·         Write it down. Some are more comfortable putting their thoughts in writing, but whether you say or write them, typing your words first can help ensure that you convey what is important.

·         Thoughtfully choose between a private versus public tribute.  When deciding between a private talk and a public toast, consider the context in which the beneficiary of your sentiments would most want to receive your message.

Have you offered a tribute lately? If not, is one overdue?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

If you’re dreading the job of delivering bad news, consider the following six guidelines:

1.       Carefully choose your path of least resistance.   

While you might be more comfortable sharing negative news in a written format (whether it’s a letter, email, press release, text or post), your recipient might be more receptive to a conversation.

If you know that your audience (one person or many) would respond better to a talk than to a printed statement, then either take a chair at the conference table or step up to the podium.

2.       Limit exposure to private matters.

When the implications are private, negative news should not spread beyond those who need to know.

If the potential for harm exceeds the value of knowledge, then don’t share anything, not even documented facts, with those who are on the fringe.

3.       Explain without unnecessarily apologizing.

Tough circumstances often force difficult decisions, some of which are unpopular.

If an explanation is appropriate, offer it with conviction to earn others’ respect and their confidence.

4.       Be guided by your goals.

Current issues will not necessarily persist, so your language should reflect your underlying values and long-term objectives, including the relationships you aim to maintain and build along the way.

If you cannot reach a happy conclusion today, leave the door open for negotiation or future opportunities.

5.       Test your message.

Scrutinize your language, tone and potential implications before you deliver negative news.

If appropriate, request feedback that you can trust and then address any necessary elements before moving forward.

6.       Move forward.

Procrastination, which prolongs problems and increases stress, makes matters worse.

If you must disseminate bad news, take charge, assume responsibility and move forward.

In the spirit of moving forward, keep in mind that bad and good are relative terms. Negative conditions prompt changes along with new opportunities to learn, grow stronger and improve.

What is your bad news policy?

My best,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

Powerfully Motivating

When my father passed away, for instance, my family received a condolence note from someone I did not know. A customer of the retail business my parents owned, she expressed that my father had always treated her elderly mother with genuine kindness and respect. Both mother and daughter, therefore, considered him to be one fine individual and would remember my father always as the quintessential Southern gentleman.

Clearly putting time and thought into what she wrote, the woman touched my heart and left me with a beautiful image of Daddy.  She also made such an impression on me that I began to follow her example, adding “little stories” in the sympathy notes I wrote with the hope of comforting others with a sweet memory.

Such is the power of words that one simple yet thoughtful expression can lift another’s spirit and, in turn, inspire the recipient to spread goodwill to others.

Powerfully Poisonous

In sharp contrast, I know of adult siblings who disagreed over how to care for their disabled parent. Rather than engage in rational discussions about feasible options and, perhaps, reach a peaceful agreement in the matter, one sister seemed incapable of having a calm, thoughtful conversation. Spewing a series of angry, hurtful statements, she left emotional scars that were as powerful as kicks and punches.

Unfortunately, certain words can be so cruel that they, like some bruises, never heal. Determining that future attempts to communicate with her would unfold in the same manner, the primary recipient of the sister’s rage decided to sever all ties to avoid continued verbal abuse and distress that resulted.

Such is the power of words that one’s lack of control over speech can permanently destroy a relationship.

Powerfully Lacking

An absence of words can also produce all kinds of misunderstandings, as when a client of my business friend failed to respond to requests for feedback about a project in progress. Although my friend knew from past experience that the particular client tended to be overscheduled but would eventually reply, he continually worried about when and if the customer would approve each step of the process.  

Rather than waiting around for answers, my friend had to take the reins and follow through in a polite yet no-nonsense manner. For any future business dealings, I suggested that he openly discuss when and how the approval process would take place so that projects could move forward on a timely basis with less stress.  Taking my advice, my friend met with his client and learned that the individual didn’t want responsibility for making small decisions. That was why my friend, a professional in his field, had been hired in the first place. The two parties, therefore, reached an agreement that the client would not review anything until the final stages. If any adjustments were needed, they would either be minor, or the client would pay for revisions.

Such is the power of words that avoiding someone can waste more time and energy than taking the time to communicate.

I could offer countless examples of how words alone have the power to alter feelings, thoughts and actions.  For now, my goal is to prompt us all to be more consciously aware of what and how we will communicate with others.

What’s on the tips of your tongue or fingertips?  Pausing to consider the consequences, should you hold back or let your words go?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady Inc.

 “I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m not ready to go yet.”

“Let me give you some extra names for pallbearers in case I outlive the ones we already listed.”

“I’m fine moving into the senior home as long as I don’t have to be around old people every day.”

“Doctor, is that drug habit forming? I don’t want to become an addict!”

And my favorite: “Let me tell you how you must handle old people,” she says, referring to them, not her. In fact, no one who attempts to “handle” this 89-year-old will live to tell about it.

It’s not a matter of how many months (or years) she has left on the planet; it’s about making the most of each day. Losing her hair from radiation treatments for a terminal illness (while her age alone would be enough of a drawback for others to give up), she decided it was time for a wig. And how about a few new outfits and some fresh Estée Lauder to complete the makeover?  She’s not vain; she simply wants her outward appearance to reflect how she feels inside—at least 20 years younger.  

”I don’t feel old,” she commented recently, “but then I look in the mirror and see that I am.” I disagree that the mirror tells on her, for she hardly has a crinkle or crease.  Nevertheless, her new wig and lack of wrinkles—makeup or no makeup—easily shave off those 20 years.

Despite looking great and being young at heart, she is not in denial of her prognosis.  I’ve never met a more pragmatic woman. “Life prepares you,” she told me a few years ago, when I asked her how she was holding it all together during the funeral of her beloved cousin, who left a hole in many lives when he passed away at 95. 

In her ninth decade of facing life head-on, she has learned to accept the harshest challenges, deal with them, and move forward.  Her generation survived The Great Depression and WWII (or, as Archie Bunker would say, “The Big One”). Her parents fed and clothed eight children on a shoestring, but she and her siblings never “felt poor” because their big family generated so much love.  She has always counted her blessings, not material things, yet worked hard to make a good living and give to others in need.

“Sallie, count your blessings,” she advises me to this day.

And I do.  What a blessing it is that this woman, 89 years young and counting, is my mother.

In sharing her words of wisdom and positive outlook, I hope you feel less stressed about what others say and more optimistic about what you can do. 

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, aka Write Lady                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Perhaps a more accurate word is discerning. Time is valuable, and unless we have a good reason (as in a recommendation or personal experience) to believe that “the good stuff” is yet to come, why waste another moment reading or listening to a bunch of blah blah blah?

The same premise holds true for our audiences. If our introductions are weak, why should our readers or listeners give their undivided attention, waiting around for us to deliver great material and a punch line? In truth, they shouldn’t.  Our audiences deserve quality from start to finish—whether our communication is a presentation, website, book, article, brochure, resume, etc. 

To start off in a strong manner, consider using one or a combination of my favorite attention-grabbing writing tactics:

1.       Engage by asking a question that is pertinent to your topic and target audience.

2.       Spark interest by sharing a secret, making a confession or promising to reveal an insider’s view or unknown fact about the subject.

3.       Take them away by placing your audience in the thick of the moment (conveying emotions or actions).

4.       Catch them off-guard by stating an eye-opening statistic or fact.

5.       Challenge them by contending that you will change their point of view.

6.       Convey a sense of excitement by stating why you have such enthusiasm for the topic.

Despite having some compelling ideas about how you will launch your message, don’t be discouraged if carrying out your plan with just the right effect takes some effort. I tend to spend a large portion of time setting the stage; however, by nailing the beginning, I find that the remaining copy more readily flows.

What awakens your mind and what makes you snooze? Think about those elements when you’re writing for your target audience.

My best,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady