The English language is so amazingly flexible that we can find countless ways to convey a single message. By the same token, we can fail to make a point because of weak phrasing. Fortunately, with minor adjustments, we can turn our powerless words into strong communications.

Consider four ways to build your influence when you state this, not that:   

1.       State what you do, not what you believe.

Weak: We believe in delivering topnotch customer service.

Strong: Our 24-hour customer support demonstrates our commitment to service.

2.       State your effort, not your attempt.

Weak: We make every attempt to ensure your child’s safety.

Strong: We certify our staff in CPR and First Aid to ensure your child’s safety.

3.       State what you have experienced, not your expertise.

Weak: As real estate experts, we understand what it takes to sell your home.

Strong: Having sold hundreds of residential properties that range in price from $150,000 to $1,500,000, we will guide you through our “Seller’s Checklist for Success” and market your home to sell.

4.       State what you require, not what you don’t allow.

Weak: Talking is not allowed during the testing period.

Strong: Silence is required during the testing period.

No matter who your audience happens to be, you can gain more influence with a stronger message.

What could you say in a more powerful way?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

info@writelady.com

When writing anything that you intend for others to read or hear, how much time do you spend thinking about your choice of words?

Just as substituting carrots for potato chips will improve your shape, you can also hone your writing skills by finding alternatives to words that don’t have much substance.  My personal list of “junk words” would fill a page, so I decided to share four in a format that’s easy to recall:

Because It’s Very Nice

Because implies a condition. Eliminating the word challenges the writer to build a more powerful statement.

With Because: We use organic ingredients in our products because they are healthier.  

Better Without: We use organic ingredients in our products for optimal health advantages.

With Because: We offer free shipping on all returns because we want you to have peace of mind with every purchase.

Better Without: To deliver peace of mind with every purchase, we offer free shipping.

It replaces a world of words. Restructuring the sentence to eliminate the indefinite pronoun or substituting the pronoun for a noun creates a more solidly anchored statement.

With It: When I have a private matter, I don’t care to discuss it in a business setting.

Better Without: I don’t care to discuss a private matter in a business setting.

With It: It caused us to miss the deadline.

Better Without: The inaccurate timeline caused us to miss the deadline.

Very indicates an extreme condition. Eliminating the overused adverb all together or choosing a more original alternative makes a more expressive pronouncement.

With Very: The research is very thorough.

Better Without: The research is thorough.

With Very: The latest trends are very disappointing.

Better Without: The latest trends are terribly disappointing.

Nice has endless implications. A more specific adjective clarifies the writer’s intention.

With Nice: You made a nice presentation.

Better Without: You made an enlightening presentation.

With Nice: The CEO made a nice donation to the cause.

Better without: The CEO made a generous donation to the cause.

If you come across exceptions and up choosing because, it, very or nice instead of rephrasing your sentence, then at least you took time to consider whether or not your words have substance.

What do you say?

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady